i take it back
i like the official version of fiona apple's newest album.
and the multiple personality aspect of kate bush's latest "aerial"
tonight cate and nick and i took fabian out for his birthday, at lil frankies... it was nice, even though i had just spent the day at work. on my day off. makes me want to cry sometimes how much i devote to a job that isn't fully panning out. but why do i go in on my "dia de descanso"? because i am racking up points for the day when i can cash them in for a sous chefdom. like hoarding my chuck e cheese tickets for the bright and shiny thingy on the top rack. that takes time. time out of my personal life. time to pass so that enough points might be racked up. however, i'm running out of patience for the racking, because there are moments when it feels futile. oy the futility!
but in all honesty things are getting better, i'm only working 9 or 10 hour days mostly, instead of 12ish, and today i was barely there for 6 hours. psh! that's a drop in the freaking bucket. bake and shape some tart shells, make muffin batter and strusel. fuckin' a! done done done and done. time for dinner with the coworkers/friends.
dinner was lovely. i had moments where i was confused on how to act because of everyone's inability to automatically shift out of work relationship mode. once the wine had flowed a little, and the pizza was eaten i think we all were enjoying not being in the shop, and the fact that we have found and are keeping such good people to work with. when work is your life, it's the most important thing in the world to assemble a crack team of kick ass motherfuckers. people who make you laugh and do a fantastic job. very hard to find. yet there we sat, talking about bowling, sipping creamy coffee, not wanting to go home already. after nick and cate walked with me to union square (duh, it's tuesday, new cd shopping day!) i realized that i had a really good time, and forgot for a little bit that i had worked today. i forgot that i only have one day off in earnest this week. i forgot to be slightly disgruntled. now if only i had more people that i liked so much to hang out with after work or on days off... i like my friends well enough, sure. but i feel myself and not annoyed at myself as much on nights like tonight. and noone can or will or would like to chill with erica at midnight on a thursday. or a monday. sigh.
tomorrow i'm going to sleep in. fill out my health insurance forms and try to drop them off. get mom a birthday present (haha i'm not writing what because she reads this... :) find edward gorey christmas cards. see a movie. have a drink with a boy maybe.
yeah i really like extraordinary machine. almost too much. she's so gloriously melancholy.
i have this theory about text messaging. i'll write more about it tomorrow i think. something along the lines of curt easily misinterpreted correspondence which can be so disappointing and enthralling. there's a split second difference between the disappoint and the enthrall. or a day. or an eternity. i love/hate text messaging. it feels so false, and misleading, do i not want to talk to you? do i want to talk, but can't for some reason? what about you? hunh? i'm too self-conscious to unabashedly text, i always imagine the other person laughing and judging me at my text language usage or lack thereof. i wish i could operate on this uncensored level that i aspire to, where what someone perceives doesn't matter so much. but it does, and i care, and i would rather much of the time that people call me when i text and say "stop being a dumbass and hear my voice, i want to hear yours, let's converse." but since i am a strangeoid, i leave voicemails and send text messages in the hopes of returning calls, always pouring in, wanting to hear my words, neverending erica's words.
mostly i hate leaving voicemail after voicemail because i'm some sort of vampire, and texting is less embarassing and effort-laiden. like email. like the internet. type it, send it. see an instant result.
i'd rather run into you on the street.
or a subway platform.
i do see people i know at shows sometimes.
but in the end i'm shy.
and want everyone to make the first move.
and phonecall.
and the multiple personality aspect of kate bush's latest "aerial"
tonight cate and nick and i took fabian out for his birthday, at lil frankies... it was nice, even though i had just spent the day at work. on my day off. makes me want to cry sometimes how much i devote to a job that isn't fully panning out. but why do i go in on my "dia de descanso"? because i am racking up points for the day when i can cash them in for a sous chefdom. like hoarding my chuck e cheese tickets for the bright and shiny thingy on the top rack. that takes time. time out of my personal life. time to pass so that enough points might be racked up. however, i'm running out of patience for the racking, because there are moments when it feels futile. oy the futility!
but in all honesty things are getting better, i'm only working 9 or 10 hour days mostly, instead of 12ish, and today i was barely there for 6 hours. psh! that's a drop in the freaking bucket. bake and shape some tart shells, make muffin batter and strusel. fuckin' a! done done done and done. time for dinner with the coworkers/friends.
dinner was lovely. i had moments where i was confused on how to act because of everyone's inability to automatically shift out of work relationship mode. once the wine had flowed a little, and the pizza was eaten i think we all were enjoying not being in the shop, and the fact that we have found and are keeping such good people to work with. when work is your life, it's the most important thing in the world to assemble a crack team of kick ass motherfuckers. people who make you laugh and do a fantastic job. very hard to find. yet there we sat, talking about bowling, sipping creamy coffee, not wanting to go home already. after nick and cate walked with me to union square (duh, it's tuesday, new cd shopping day!) i realized that i had a really good time, and forgot for a little bit that i had worked today. i forgot that i only have one day off in earnest this week. i forgot to be slightly disgruntled. now if only i had more people that i liked so much to hang out with after work or on days off... i like my friends well enough, sure. but i feel myself and not annoyed at myself as much on nights like tonight. and noone can or will or would like to chill with erica at midnight on a thursday. or a monday. sigh.
tomorrow i'm going to sleep in. fill out my health insurance forms and try to drop them off. get mom a birthday present (haha i'm not writing what because she reads this... :) find edward gorey christmas cards. see a movie. have a drink with a boy maybe.
yeah i really like extraordinary machine. almost too much. she's so gloriously melancholy.
i have this theory about text messaging. i'll write more about it tomorrow i think. something along the lines of curt easily misinterpreted correspondence which can be so disappointing and enthralling. there's a split second difference between the disappoint and the enthrall. or a day. or an eternity. i love/hate text messaging. it feels so false, and misleading, do i not want to talk to you? do i want to talk, but can't for some reason? what about you? hunh? i'm too self-conscious to unabashedly text, i always imagine the other person laughing and judging me at my text language usage or lack thereof. i wish i could operate on this uncensored level that i aspire to, where what someone perceives doesn't matter so much. but it does, and i care, and i would rather much of the time that people call me when i text and say "stop being a dumbass and hear my voice, i want to hear yours, let's converse." but since i am a strangeoid, i leave voicemails and send text messages in the hopes of returning calls, always pouring in, wanting to hear my words, neverending erica's words.
mostly i hate leaving voicemail after voicemail because i'm some sort of vampire, and texting is less embarassing and effort-laiden. like email. like the internet. type it, send it. see an instant result.
i'd rather run into you on the street.
or a subway platform.
i do see people i know at shows sometimes.
but in the end i'm shy.
and want everyone to make the first move.
and phonecall.
posted by cheffy boots @ 2:41 AM
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