fuckin a

i can't seem to get to sleep before 4 am these days.
work is... deep breath... something that breaks me down and strengthens me simultaneously.
lately i have been contemplating my place in my life, and geography. i don't think it is possible to have a better position at a better restaurant considering my experience and location. gramercy was ranked first by zagat in popularity, and earned high marks, high enough to boost our numbers from 150 reservations on a mid-week evening, to over 200. basically we're busy, and popular, and it would be stupid to leave and go anywhere for at least a year. that's the logic. if only i could do this job in boston is what i keep saying to myself, and everyone else. but that's friggin impossible.
though i'm in a little tiff with new york right now i think the wonders and comforts of this city will win me back over soon enough. a visit to the hometown at the end of the upcoming week allows me time to sit and drink tea with the dog panting on my knee, see a movie or two with da, cook and gossip and catch up with mum, and bond with my bestest jo.

lunch tomorrow is steak with the big bro. i've been craving protein alot lately, must be the weather, and the lack of men in my life. if infatuation can't fuel me then meat and the wonders of carbo loading will fuel my 12 hour shifts. oh, yeah, that's a huge part of my tiff with nyc.
boys.
or no boys as it may be...
whatever, i'm a nun again, ouch.
perhaps the brother has some advice on monkhood. ok. gotta get up in 6 hours.
fuckin a
boots